So She Didn’t Text Back

So She Didn't Text Back by Lester Lee on hawk + pearl

One day everything is fantastic. You’re texting a girl all day every day. You’re making her laugh. You’re making her think. Your emoji game is fire emoji. But then, all of a sudden, you get nothing. Radio silence.

 

So, uh, she didn’t text back…

 

Take a deep breath. She’s probably busy. Yes, sure, she usually answers within 10 minutes. Whether she’s sitting at home or she’s busy at work, she always texts back within 10 minutes. But today is different. She’s super busy or whatever.

 

Anddd she just posted a new selfie on Instagram.

 

Relax. She probably just doesn’t have service. She must have tried to post that photo an hour ago, but because she has no service, it only now went through. We truly take LTE for granted. What a time to be alive!

 

Wait, who are all those guys liking her photo? Jesus, it’s only been up for 6 minutes and ten guys have double tapped it…

 

Go ahead. Send that “What are you doing now?” text.

 

No response again? Hahaha, yeah, no worries. Her phone is probably at 1% and she’s saving her battery for the remainder of the day. Be cool, man. You told her you really liked her the other day, so why would she be ignoring you now? Is it because you’ve been double and triple texting her all weekend? Girls like when you show that you’re interested, right? Yeah, that can’t be it.

 

COOL. She just posted a new Snapchat story. COOL.

 

Okay, put your phone down for a little bit. Obviously she’s playing hard to get, so just let her come to you. When she’s done with her little cat-and-mouse games, she’ll be diving head first into your inbox. In the meantime, head to the gym. Read a book. Get your mind, body, and soul in order…

 

…but send her a quick Snap first.

 

She opened it immediately and didn’t respond. It’s almost as if she got excited to see that she had a Snapchat and didn’t look at the name it came from, but then was immediately disappointed to see it was your dumb face with a dog face filter and a hilarious caption that says “Life is ruff.”

 

Text her one last time. Let her know you’re on to her.

 

“Cool.”

 

Nailed it! That’ll let her know that you know that she knows. Check Facebook to see if she posted anything about how devastated she must be after you dropped the hammer. Oh, what’s that? She just posted a status saying “I hate when guys just don’t get the hint.” That’s clearly about some other guy, right?

 

Nope. That’s 1,000% about you. It’s over. You have been deaded.

 

Fuck.

 

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Lester Lee is the King of Deadseriousness. Emotionally unavailable. Master of his domain and just all around unimpressed by anything that isn't glazed. Twitter: @TheLesterLee

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