The roads are loaded with ignorant, oblivious idiots who don’t look, don’t move, and don’t care. Are you sick of sharing the streets with these dopes? Because I am.
You’d be surprised about how many ways there are to decrease your level of shittiness and become more of a decent driver. To avoid writing for a decade, I’ve comprised a short list of essential tips for anyone in need of some driving assistance — you’re welcome.
Without further ado, let’s get started!
Here are 12 simple ways to be less of an asshole while driving:
1. Don’t cut people off if you don’t have to.
Sometimes it’s inevitable, but if there’s literally a mile in between that person and the next car behind them, just wait three more seconds and pull behind them.
2. Similarly, let people get in front of you once in awhile.
If you’re not in a rush, it won’t kill you to let someone get in front of you. I promise you’ll get to your destination around the same time.
3. Allow people to merge ahead of you.
4. Lay off your horn.
Whether it’s 0.5 seconds after the light turns green or for some other irrelevant reason, nothing grinds my gears more than someone honking their damn horn. Stop it. Just stop it.
5. Speed up when merging onto the highway.
“On” ramps are designed for you to increase your speed to merge with traffic. Do not brake. Step on the gas and GO.
Upon successful merge…
6. Drive faster than the minimum speed limit on the expressway.
It’s called a MINIMUM speed for a reason. You’re allowed to go faster… actually, you’re encouraged to go faster! However, if you do plan to drive less than the average speed limit, at least get in the right lane.
Which flawlessly leads us to #7…
7. If you’re going to drive slowly, get out of the left lane.
It’s actually a pretty simple concept. Right lane: slow lane. Left lane: fast lane. Got it?
Great. Let’s move on.
8. Use your blinker.
Most cars, with the exception of high-class vehicles like BMW, Mercedes, and Audi, were designed with blinkers. These fancy contraptions are not only for directional purposes, but they’re also safety features. Use them.
9. Don’t ride someone’s ass when they’re doing the speed limit.
Okay, if they’re going super slow, then fine. But if you’re on my ass and I’m keeping up with traffic, I’m intentionally going to drive slowly just to piss you off (which may contribute to being an asshole while driving, but hey, it’s well-deserved).
10. Let pedestrians cross the road.
I’m guilty of not letting people cross the road when they’re not at a crosswalk, but I always let them go when they are. ESPECIALLY if it’s raining, hot, or unpleasant outside, let pedestrians cross. You’re sheltered inside of a vehicle. They’re not.
And last but certainly not least are these two key points…
11. Get off your damn phone.
With the wide array of advanced technologies we have now, including but not limited to smartphones with voice-to-text accessibility and Bluetooth devices, there is absolutely no reason for you to have your phone in your hand while navigating a vehicle. Whoever is on the other end can wait for your reply. Keep your eyes on the road. Seriously.
12. Don’t drink and drive.
It may be safe to say that we’ve all been there — after a drink or two (or maybe even more), we’ve gotten behind the wheel. Well, STOP IT. DON’T DO IT. It’s not worth incriminating yourself and endangering the lives of others. Request an Uber. Call a cab. Have a DD. Just don’t drink and drive… please.
Whether you are an asshole driver or you know someone who is, I’m sure you know at least one person who could stand to take a look at this list. So please, share this post and spread the word, and maybe together we can make the roads a better place with fewer shitty people.